THE KITCHEN BITCH…
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, ‘All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now…cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train…cause we’re going down the tracks.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, ’We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train…but I want you to use nice language.’
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say… ‘All passengers please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.’She heard her little darling continue…’For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train.. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.’ As the mother began to smile, the child added, ‘For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen….’
Underwear dust
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, ‘
Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would
Take a few inches off of your butt!’
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such
A comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
‘What the Heck is this??’ he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared
When he shook them out. ‘Phyllis,’ he hollered into the bathroom,
‘why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?
She replied …’It’s not talcum powder……It’s Miracle Grow
Someone sent this to me today. Most of it seems to be fairly substantiated. I found some of the information to be very interesting. So it’s here to share.
Obama’s Not Exactly’s:
>
> 1.) Selma Got Me Born – NOT EXACTLY, your parents felt safe enough to have you
in 1961 – Selma had no effect on your birth, as Selma was in 1965. (Google
‘Obama Selma’ for his full March 4, 2007 speech and articles about its various
untruths.)
>
>
> 2.) Father Was A Goat Herder – NOT EXACTLY, he was a privileged, well educated
youth, who went on to work with the Kenyan Government.
>
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> 3.) Father Was A Proud Freedom Fighter – NOT EXACTLY, he was part of one of
the most corrupt and violent governments Kenya has ever had.
>
>
> 4.) My Family Has Strong Ties To African Freedom – NOT EXACTLY, your cousin
Raila Odinga has created mass violence in attempting to overturn a legitimate
election in 2007, in Kenya . It is the first widespread violence in decades. The
current government is pro-American but Odinga wants to overthrow it and
establish Muslim Sharia law. Your half-brother, Abongo Obama, is Odinga’s
follower. You interrupted your New Hampshire campaigning to speak to Odinga on
the phone. Check out the following link for verification of that….and for
more.Obama’s cousin Odinga in Kenya ran for president and tried to get Sharia
muslim law in place there. When Odinga lost the elections, his followers have
burned Christians’ homes and then burned men, women and children alive in a
Christian church where they took shelter.. Obama SUPPORTED his cousin before the
election process here started. Google Obama and Odinga and see what you get. No
one wants to know the truth.
>
>
> 5.) My Grandmother Has Always Been A Christian – NOT EXACTLY, she does her
daily Salat prayers at 5am according to her own interviews. Not to mention,
Christianity wouldn’t allow her to have been one of 14 wives to 1 man.
>
>
> 6.) My Name is African Swahili – NOT EXACTLY, your name is Arabic and ‘Baraka’
(from which Barack came) means ‘blessed’ in that language. Hussein is also
Arabic and so is Obama.
>
>
> Barack Hussein Obama is not half black. If elected, he would be the first
Arab-American President, not the first black President.
>
>
>
>
>
> Barack Hussein Obama is 50% Cauc asian from his mother’s side and 43.75% Arabic
and 6.25% African Negro from his father’s side. While Barack Hussein Obama’s
father was from Kenya , his father’s family was mainly Arabs.. Barack Hussein
Obama’s father was only 12.5% African Negro and 87.5% Arab (his father’s birth
certificate even states he’s Arab, not African Negro). From….and for
more….go
to…..http://www.arcadeathome.com/newsboy.phtml?Barack_Hussein_Obama_-_Arab-Ame
rican,_only_6.25%25_African
>
>
> 7.) I Never Practiced Islam – NOT EXACTLY, you practiced it daily at school,
where you were registered as a Muslim and kept that faith for 31 years, until
your wife made you change, so you could run for office. 4-3-08 Article “Obama
was ‘quite religious in islam’”
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=60559
>
>
> 8.) My School In Indonesia Was Christian – NOT EXACTLY, you were registered as
Muslim there and go t in trouble in Koranic Studies for making faces (check your
own book). February 28, 2008. Kristoff from the New York Times a year ago:
Mr. Obama recalled the opening lines of the Arabic call to prayer, reciting them
with a first-rate accent. In a remark that seemed delightfully uncalculated
(it’ll give Alabama voters heart attacks), Mr. Obama described the call to
prayer as “one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset.” This is just one
example of what Pamela is talking about when she says “Obama’s narrative is
being altered, enhanced and manipulated to whitewash troubling facts.”
>
>
> 9.) I Was Fluent In Indonesian – NOT EXACTLY, not one teacher says you could
speak the language.
>
>
> 10.) Because I Lived In Indonesia , I Have More Foreign Experience – NOT
EXACTLY, you were there from the ages of 6 to 10, and couldn’t even speak the
language. What did you learn, how to study the Koran and watch cartoons.
>
>
> 11.) I Am Stronger On Foreign Affairs – NOT EXACTLY, except for Africa
(surprise) and the Middle East (bigger surprise), you have never been anywhere
else on the planet and thus have NO experience with our closest allies.
>
>
> 12.) I Blame My Early Drug Use On Ethnic Confusion – NOT EXACTLY, you were
quite content in high school to be Barry Obama, no mention of Kenya and no
mention of struggle to identify – your classmates said you were just fine.
>
>
> 13.) An Ebony Article Moved Me To Run For Office – NOT EXACTLY, Ebony has yet
to find the article you mention in your book. It doesn’t, and never did, exist.
>
>
> 14.) A Life Magazine Article Changed My Outlook On Life – NOT EXACTLY, Life
has yet to find the article you mention in your book. It doesn’t, and never did,
exist.
>
>
> 15.) I Won’t Run On A National Ticket In ‘08 – NOT EX ACTLY, here you are,
despite saying, live on TV, that you would not have enough experience by then,
and you are all about having experience first.
>
>
> 16.) Voting “Present” is Common In Illinois Senate – NOT EXACTLY, they are
common for YOU, but not many others have 130 NO VOTES.
>
>
> 17.) Oops, I Mis-voted – NOT EXACTLY, only when caught by church groups and
Democrats, did you beg to change your misvote.
>
>
> 18.) I Was A Professor Of Law – NOT EXACTLY, you were a senior lecturer ON
LEAVE.
>
>
> 19.) I Was A Constitutional Lawyer – NOT EXACTLY, you were a senior lecturer
ON LEAVE.
>
>
> 20.) Without Me, There Would Be No Ethics Bill – NOT EXACTLY, you didn’t write
it, introduce it, change it, or create it.
>
>
> 21.) The Ethics Bill Was Hard To Pass – NOT EXACTLY, it took just 14 days from
start to finish.
>
&g t;
> 22.) I Wrote A Tough Nuclear Bill – NOT EXACTLY, your bill was rejected by
your own party for its pandering and lack of all regulation – mainly because of
your Nuclear donor, Exelon, from which David Axelrod came.
>
>
> 23.) I Have Released My State Records – NOT EXACTLY, as of March, 2008, state
bills you sponsored or voted for have yet to be released, exposing all the
special interests pork hidden within.
>
>
> 24.) I Took On The Asbestos Altgeld Gardens Mess – NOT EXACTLY, you were part
of a large group of people who remedied Altgeld Gardens . You failed to mention
anyone else but yourself, in your books.
>
>
> 25.) My Economics Bill Will Help America – NOT EXACTLY, your 111 economic
policies were just combined into a proposal which lost 99-0, and even YOU voted
against your own bill.
>
>
> 26.) I Have Been A Bold Leader In Illinois – NOT EXACTLY, even your own
supporters claim to have not seen BOLD action on your part.
>
>
> 27.) I Passed 26 Of My Own Bills In One Year – NOT EXACTLY, they were not YOUR
bills, but rather handed to you, after their creation by a fellow Senator, to
assist you in a future bid for higher office.
>
>
> 28.) No One on my campaign contacted Canada about NAFTA – NOT EXACTLY, the
Candian Government issued the names and a memo of the conversation your campaign
had with them.
>
>
> 29.) I Am Tough On Terrorism – NOT EXACTLY, you missed the Iran Resolution
vote on terrorism and your good friend Ali Abunimah supports the destruction off
Israel .
>
>
> 30.) I Want All Votes To Count – NOT EXACTLY, you said let the delegates
decide.
>
>
> 31.) I Want Americans To Decide – NOT EXACTLY, you prefer caucuses that limit
the vote, confuse the voters, force a public vote, and onl y operate during small
windows of time.
>
>
> 32.) I passed 900 Bills in the State Senate – NOT EXACTLY, you passed 26, most
of which you didn’t write yourself.
>
>
> 33.) I Believe In Fairness, Not Tactics – NOT EXACTLY, you used tactics to
eliminate Alice Palmer from running against you.
>
>
> 34.) I Don’t Take PAC Money – NOT EXACTLY, you take loads of it.
>
>
> 35.) I Don’t Have Lobbysists – NOT EXACTLY, you have over 47 lobbyists, and
counting.
>
>
> 36.) My Campaign Had Nothing To Do With The 1984 Ad – NOT EXACTLY, your own
campaign worker made the ad on his Apple in one afternoon.
>
>
> 37.) I Have Always Been Against Iraq – NOT EXACTLY, you weren’t in office to
vote against it AND you have voted to fund it every single time.
>
>
> 38.) I Have Always Supported Universal Health Care – NOT EXACTLY, your plan
leaves us all to pay for the 15,000,000 who don’t have to buy it.
>
>
> “Qui non intelligit aut discat aut taceat”
>
> (Who does not understand should either learn, or be silent.)
>
>
>
> Quite an eye opener………remember this when you vote.
$400 A Night
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a
suitcase.
He asks, ‘What are you doing?’
She answers, ‘I’m moving to New York . I heard
prostitutes there get paid
$400 a night for doing what I do for you for free.’
A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the
bedroom and sees her
husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he is going, he replies, ‘I’m
coming too. I want to
see how you live on $800 a year.’
I made it to the theatre to see The Dark Knight. It was worth every penny and every second. Absolutely amazing. For my review on it: CLICK HERE! Co-Star Michael Caine said,
Heath will surely get a posthumous nomination, and I think he will get [the award].
Heavy words from a well respected actor who’s won his own Oscar. Everyone is going to be talking about this movie and Heath Ledger’s performance is going to be remembered indefinitely. The director/writer Christopher Nolan said of Ledger’s performance:
[He] constructed an iconic performance.
According the people magazine Gary Oldman (Lt. James Gordon) had his own take on Ledger’s state of mind during the filming.
People want a dark story, [that] he was contaminated with the Joker, that he couldn’t sleep, but in between takes he would sit on the curbside, and laugh and talk about his daughter Matilda.
According to Christian Bale:
He was a fierce talent, and I was fortunate to witness that talent.
Only six months after his death, with his final role finally here it is difficult not to focus on Ledger and his performance as The Joker, and as outstanding as the rest of the film and performances are, you’ll find it just as difficult when you are watching the movie itself. The excitement of the film is also filled with a bittersweet feeling, knowing the Joker will never come back………at least never like this again.
“Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed.” -Achilles from Troy
Beware the sleep-deprived Mom. -Anonymous
